NOW:
A lot of people skip over the letters from the various dignitaries that appear in sports programs.
Not me. I get a perverse pleasure from cracking open the program during the fourth inning of a 12-8 game and reading a semi-heartfelt letter written by a public relations flak.
Here is the one from Gov. Jim Gibbons that appears in the official American Legion Baseball state tournament program being played at Wilson Stadium this week:
As governor of the great state of Nevada, it is a pleasure to welcome you to the 2008 American Legion baseball tournament. I hope you have an enjoyable time as you join together in America's pastime.
Baseball truly reflects the spirit of our nation and its people. It emphasizes hard work, honesty, pulling together as a team, sportsmanship and a sense of fair play. These values are at the very heart of our existence as a great nation. I can think of nothing more appropriate than participating in a program such as this, which instills these values in America's youth, our future and our hope for tomorrow.
This tournament also gives us a chance, collectively, to remember the veterans of our military and to pay tribute to them. Their courage and sacrifice allows us to enjoy this wonderful game under such wonderful circumstances. We honor them today.
Once again, welcome to the 2008 American Legion Baseball Tournament.
Play ball!
Sincerely,
Jim Gibbons
Governor of the State of Nevada
And here is the one from Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman:
Welcome to the American Legion Baseball 2008 Nevada State Tournament. I am sorry that I could not be there to welcome you in person. As the happiest mayor in the universe, I am delighted to tell you about some exciting new developments in Las Vegas.
Downtown Las Vegas is undergoing a dramatic change, a renaissance. It is evolving into a vibrant place for living, working, entertainment and the arts. The enticing mix that makes the new downtown Las Vegas includes:
--- The neon-drenched excitement of the Fremont Street Experience, visited by over 21 million people each year.
--- Multi-million dollar casino and hotel reservations and expansions.
--- Fremont East Entertainment District featuring trendy new gathering places for dining, dancing, cocktails and enjoyment.
--- An emerging eclectic mix of line-in artists and galleries known as the 18b Arts District.
--- Almost 18,000 living spaces being built and planned in the heart of the city.
--- An additional cultural oasis arising with the renovation of our historic Fifth Street School.
--- World Market Center, a state-of-the-art home furnishings trade show complex in downtown Las Vegas. When fully completed, the complex will exceed 12 million square feet with eight buildings.
--- Union Park, a phenomenal 61-acre planned development neighboring the World Market Center. This project will include the Lou Ruvo Alzheimer's Institute, designed by renowned architect Frank Gehry, a 350,000 square-foot Performing Arts Center and multiple business and retail opportunities.
Good luck to all teams participating this year. i wish you all the best for an exciting and fun tournament!
Sincerely,
Oscar B. Goodman
Mayor
City of Las Vegas
My take: The governor's letter sort of sounds like it was lifted from James Earl Jones' speech in "Field of Dreams." But at least it is appropriate for the occasion. And the nod to the military veterans was a nice touch.
The mayor, on the other hand, apparently didn't know that all but one of the American Legion teams hail from Southern Nevada. Those kids and their parents live here. They already know what's going on downtown. Or, in many cases, what isn't going on.
So in my batting order of Welcome Letters in the Official Program That Nobody Reads, the governor's bats second or third. We'll put the mayor's seventh or eighth.
Harry Reid's bats cleanup, because he is the Senate Majority Leader.
Unless, of course, a memo from Chrissy Mazzeo about what really happened with Gov. Gibbons in that parking garage were to arrive late.
In that case, Sen. Reid's wishes of a successful tournament experience for each and every friend, participant and sponsor might have to move to No. 5 in the order.
THEN
For my money, there is no better feeling than hitting a baseball on the sweet spot of a wood bat on opening day.
But making out with your girlfriend behind the bleachers would be a close second.
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