Renee Martinez’s Henderson apartment represents a clean slate. It’s a chance for her to start over, far away from the man she says abused her.
With little furniture or touches of home, the only family photograph is a framed portrait of Martinez and her 16-year-old son, Gabriel Pepple. She doesn’t know where she would be without him, saying he helped save her life as they escaped her abusive partner last spring.
“I was trying to make the escape from my bedroom door. My abuser tore off my clothes,” she said. “I don’t know how he did this, but Gabriel flipped me into his bedroom and he held the door and told my abuser, ‘You’re not going to hurt my mom, you’re not going to hurt my mom.’ ”
Pepple, whose father isn’t in the picture, said his mother is everything to him, and he knew he had to act.
“In the past she’s been hurt by other men, and I decided I’m not going to let her get hurt anymore,” he said. “I kind of thought, ‘She’s my last person here.’”
Martinez grabbed a shirt from her son’s room and they ran toward the front door, the man she once loved chasing after them with a knife.
She said the man was arrested and officers put her in contact with SafeNest, a Las Vegas-area shelter for domestic violence survivors and families. They assisted her with filing a Temporary Protective Order against her abuser and housed both her and her son.
The center also provided the two of them with counseling, where they were taught to refer to the man as their “abuser” rather than by his name.
“It helps because when you keep on saying their name over and over again, you tend to have dreams or think about it,” she said. “It’s hard, because at one point in time, you did love that person.”
They are products of SafetNest’s Operation Fresh Start, a transitional housing program that partners with property owners to provide domestic violence survivors with housing and financial assistance for rent and transportation. SafeNest has also helped her get gifts for her older children and grandchildren during the holidays.
“It’s definitely hard to go from two incomes to one during the holidays,” she said.
While grateful, the transition has been difficult for Martinez, who says she left all her belongings, friends and even some family to get away from her abuser.
“You have to start your life over; when you come out of it, you don’t have anything,” she said. “It’s going from having someone there and having someone to depend on and having two incomes, to being by yourself with nothing.”
It’s common for families escaping domestic violence to come to the shelter with nothing but the clothes on their backs, SafeNest spokeswoman Laurie Cody said.
It’s these obstacles, Martinez said, that make it so difficult to leave an abusive relationship in the first place.
“You don’t want to fail. Sometimes it’s because of the kids. It’s a codependency you build with your abuser,” Martinez said. “You keep coming back and think, ‘Maybe this time, things will be different. If I love him enough or do what he says, it will work out. But most of the time it doesn’t, because you can’t change a person.”
Pepple had a similar experience with his mother’s abuser, who in the beginning was kind and would try to develop a friendship with him. For a moment, it really did seem like they were all going to be a family.
“The way I trusted him and the way me and him bonded, he threw it away like it was nothing,” Pepple said. “The first time he (hurt) my mom, I just looked at him and asked, ‘What are you doing?’ ”
Martinez said her abuser put a strain on her relationship with Pepple, who threatened to move out if she didn’t leave him.
“Most of the time, we would just sit in a room and not talk to each other,” Pepple said. “After everything happened with SafeNest, we started talking again.”
These days, the two are much closer as they try to build a new life together.
The road hasn’t been easy for Pepple, either. Since the escape, he’s been constantly on the move, transferring high schools three times in the past year. But he remains focused on his career ambitions to join the military. The sophomore is enrolled in Basic High School’s ROTC program, where he’s learned to embrace values such as manners and discipline.
“I barely do anything for fun,” he said. “I’m always here studying and doing stuff for ROTC.”
Martinez said the two of them try to keep their social circle small, as past trauma has made it difficult for them to trust many people.
“Right now, it’s just us trying to survive,” she said.