UNLV sports gave us a lot in 2021. The players, coaches, administrators, tutors, trainers, team managers, stadium workers and so many more came together over the past 12 months to provide the fans with plenty of cheerful moments, and now it’s time to give back.
And we’re going old-school with our shopping list. No one-click online purchases here; we’re giving the gifts you have to camp outside Toys ‘R Us overnight in order to secure. These gifts are throwbacks to when holiday shopping was just as competitive as collegiate sports, complete with the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.
With that giving spirit in our hearts, let’s distribute some all-time classic Christmas gifts to UNLV athletics:
Cabbage Patch Kids (1984)
These adorable little half-human, half-cabbage, half-bumblebee dolls came with birth certificates, backstories and unique identities, and the idea was to “adopt” as many as you could. Marcus Arroyo seems to be taking a similar approach to the quarterback position, as the scarlet and gray will go into spring with youngsters Cameron Friel, Doug Brumfield and Jayden Maiava competing for the starting job. Arroyo can only hope his group explodes in popularity the way Cabbage Patch Kids did in the mid-80s.
Easy-Bake Oven (1963)
This would be a perfect gift for Bryce Hamilton, who can heat up in an instant. And like the Easy-Bake Oven, Hamilton is at his best when he keeps it simple. The senior guard earned a benching earlier this season for taking too many difficult shots, but he seems to have seen the light and has been much more efficient (25.5 points, 54.3 FG% over his last four games) since cutting down on the ingredients.
Tickle Me Elmo (1996)
This phenomenon of cuteness prompted shoppers to line up outside department stores and trample each other to get through the doors, so maybe we should gift a few shipments of Tickle Me Elmo dolls to the Thomas & Mack Center in hopes they can draw a crowd.
Connect Four (1976)
A smash hit when it was introduced in the mid-1970s, Connect Four appears to be a simple game, but there are more than four trillion possible outcomes (4,531,985,219,092 to be precise). Let’s give this to Kevin Kruger, as it’s still simpler than managing a team that is incorporating 10 newcomers into the rotation. Through 12 games Kruger has already used 117 different lineup combinations, so Connect Four should be a cinch.
Game Boy (1989)
We have to give the most reliable handheld electronic game ever produced—original Game Boys are still chugging along today, undeterred by expected battery lifespans or literal bombs—to Charles Williams. A backfield stalwart through three presidential administrations, Williams produced his best campaign as a sixth-year senior in 2021, rushing for 1,256 yards and 15 touchdowns.
Beanie Babies (1995)
UNLV basketball is investing in Class of 2022 recruit KyeRon Lindsay the way people in the 90’s invested in Beanie Babies. Fortunately for Kruger and company, it looks like Lindsay’s value will keep going up, unlike his Beanie brethren.
Jenga (1987)
This would make a nice gift for Marcus Arroyo, but managing the UNLV roster must make him feel as though he’s already playing the world’s biggest game of Jenga. For every impact player he brings in (and the incoming Class of 2022 looks to be a good one), he loses another (farewell, Jacoby Windmon).
Barbie’s Dream House (1992)
Las Vegas was nice, but what T.J. Otzelberger wanted all along was to return to Ames, Iowa, and settle in as the head basketball coach at Iowa State. Now he’s got his dream house, his dream boss and his dream job—plus a Top 25 team.
Dungeons and Dragons (1981)
The granddaddy of all role-playing fantasy games requires patience, keen attention to detail, fervent determination and, most of all, an expansive imagination. All of those traits will be essential for UNLV's next athletic director, so let’s hope the new hire is not a level-one Human AD.
Tamagotchi (1997)
These little electronic pets had to be cared for and nurtured. Owners would feed them, walk them, clean up after them and play with them at regular intervals, and the reward was the joy of seeing your Tamagotchi grow and thrive. It’s not such a far cry from the way UNLV hoops fans have latched onto Keshon Gilbert, the only true freshman on the team. Gilbert is fun to watch and you can tell the fan base wants to raise him the right way and see him flourish.
Mike Grimala can be reached at 702-948-7844 or [email protected]. Follow Mike on Twitter at twitter.com/mikegrimala.
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